sugar high five and dime bag

I have a terrible habit of wanting everyone to be happy with me, I hate disappointing people or having them think badly of me. This obnoxious personality trait has gotten so out of control in fandom. I keep agreeing to participate in things or write things that I know I can't or really would rather not. But I never end up following through and there's no worse feeling than letting someone down when it was the absolute last thing you wanted to do.

We all know my follow through is a joke. So, within fandom, if I've promised you fic or my participation in something or action on anything, I'm just going to void that right now. I know people will be unhappy with me b/c I've owed them quite a lot for quite a while, but I guess this is just choosing the lesser of the two evils. If you're really feeling slighted, pm me and we can try to work something out.

I know I have a lot of comments to respond to as it is, I don't mean to neglect anyone and I'm sorry if you feel like you have been. twitter ([at]glitterstains) is probably the best way to keep in touch with me (it suits my crappy attention span and irresponsibility and inability to remember anything and rather pathetic need for immediate feedback .__.)

I hate to use this as an excuse because there really isn't an excuse for how I've been acting towards the people I care about lately, but work has been completely overwhelming and my boss has been severely abusing the privileges of her position- we started with 10 employees and after the stunts she pulled, there are only four of us left to cover seven days of shifts running from 4:30 am to 12:30 am, some of which require double coverage (which we don't get. ever.) I get home and I'm just too exhausted to try and be social (not that that stops me from missing you guys terribly, I'm just too much of a zombie to figure out how to form sentences). I've also been pretty sick for the past few weeks and I now have biweekly appointments taking up huge chunks of my free-time. And my latest test results are not awesome, so that's got me feeling pretty down and withdrawn, too. These are piss poor reasons, I know, and I hate to ruin an apology with an excuse but yeah .__. /scrapes at your feet


Um, I'll just leave this. I like this performance a lot and it maybe you guys will too? asdfghjkljh idk

This is in my veins and it gets to my heart:

I miss you so much already. I don't even know you, but you always made me feel like I did. You're just as fucked up as I am sometimes and you'll never know how much I appreciate your imperfections. I'm going to wait. And I know that everything I'm feeling right now might deaden and scar over, and maybe I won't do anything more than smile and say 'oh' when you finally do get back, but I'll still be here. And I'm never going to forget any of what you've done for me. I'm never going to stop loving you.

You'll always be my very first kpop bias and I know you're strong enough for this. I know you'll be okay. So let me be selfish and worry about how I'll make it without you.



( Before the love just turns to hate/Before I ask for you to stay/And just before you walk away/Let me see you cry )

AND THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS WHAT KANGTEUK IS TURNING INTO.


ALSO LOLING @ SHEENA. ILU. AND LOOK, RIMMING IS IN. XDDD