a love song for no one

[remixied]

I have a terrible habit of wanting everyone to be happy with me, I hate disappointing people or having them think badly of me. This obnoxious personality trait has gotten so out of control in fandom. I keep agreeing to participate in things or write things that I know I can't or really would rather not. But I never end up following through and there's no worse feeling than letting someone down when it was the absolute last thing you wanted to do.

We all know my follow through is a joke. So, within fandom, if I've promised you fic or my participation in something or action on anything, I'm just going to void that right now. I know people will be unhappy with me b/c I've owed them quite a lot for quite a while, but I guess this is just choosing the lesser of the two evils. If you're really feeling slighted, pm me and we can try to work something out.

I know I have a lot of comments to respond to as it is, I don't mean to neglect anyone and I'm sorry if you feel like you have been. twitter ([at]glitterstains) is probably the best way to keep in touch with me (it suits my crappy attention span and irresponsibility and inability to remember anything and rather pathetic need for immediate feedback .__.)

I hate to use this as an excuse because there really isn't an excuse for how I've been acting towards the people I care about lately, but work has been completely overwhelming and my boss has been severely abusing the privileges of her position- we started with 10 employees and after the stunts she pulled, there are only four of us left to cover seven days of shifts running from 4:30 am to 12:30 am, some of which require double coverage (which we don't get. ever.) I get home and I'm just too exhausted to try and be social (not that that stops me from missing you guys terribly, I'm just too much of a zombie to figure out how to form sentences). I've also been pretty sick for the past few weeks and I now have biweekly appointments taking up huge chunks of my free-time. And my latest test results are not awesome, so that's got me feeling pretty down and withdrawn, too. These are piss poor reasons, I know, and I hate to ruin an apology with an excuse but yeah .__. /scrapes at your feet


Um, I'll just leave this. I like this performance a lot and it maybe you guys will too? asdfghjkljh idk

Comments

[black-silver.livejournal.com]

you're sick AGAIN?????? DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:



i like this voiding idea imma take it

[remixied.livejournal.com]

like a damn coupon at the grocery store ;;


yeah, I got cleared from the mono but they found some stuff in my neck and did an ultrasound and found more stuff and rofl at this point I don't even want to know about anything /buries head in the sand

[black-silver.livejournal.com]

{:B idg the coupon thing

but i'm sorry to hear that :'(

[remixied.livejournal.com]

rofl re: voiding idk /fails at coherency

it's okay, I'm quite happy to pretend there is nothing wrong :3333

[yakiseop.livejournal.com]

um hi, we aren't friends but I follow you on twitter ;w;'
I'd like to say I really love these Sleeping Beauty pieces, they're truly gorgeous ;-;
and, about the first paragraph, I might know how you feel. I'm often exactly in that situation :// I don't even like voicing my opinion when asked, afraid it'll disappoint people.

... that's it sorryforcreeping bye. I hope you'll get better soon :3

[remixied.livejournal.com]

hfjdksakjlfd I never check my followers b/c I can't tell people apart from spambots ;; but @ me and I'll follow back o/

sdfghjkgfdsfghjk I really really cannot get over the score for one, but when you add in sarah lamb I just combust ;~~~~;

I tend to go the opposite way, I do my best to keep people happy, but if someone has an issue with me I get belligerent and would prefer being called out on whatever I've done wrong. lmao I am so backwards ide

<333333333 ty bby, I'll def work on it

[yakiseop.livejournal.com]

I @ed at you but... I'm a locked account OTL so I don't think it showed up? Did it? Anyway, I'm @inoccheetos ;-;'

I know what you mean ;-; and sleeping beauty isn't even my fav Tchaikovsky ballet but it has some really awesome parts ;-;

lmao I'm forever afraid of being reprimanded and judged OTL /weakling

\:DD/ do your best! I'll be cheering for you

[marusamarento.livejournal.com]

gotta do what you gotta do bb. ♥

[remixied.livejournal.com]

<333 hopefully this works out well for me rofl

[love-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Hey. I love you. Take care of yourself.

Seriously though, I'm sorry you're sick. I feel the need to come up there and like, bubble-wrap you or sth. Please get better <3333

Get some sleep, too, bb. I know your work schedule is a bitch and a half, and I'm sorry your boss is psycho.

If you ever need to bitch or rant or whatever, I'm pretty sure you have every available means of communication to get at me with.

<3333333333333333 (that is only a portion of my love)

[love-imperfect.livejournal.com]

Also. I think I derive way too much enjoyment from reading all of the tags you have. I'm so lame. ❤

[remixied.livejournal.com]

DUDE MY TAGS KIND OF MAKE MORE SENSE THAN MY ACTUAL POST, NGL.

I'm sorry you're sick or busted like twice as often as I am O_o DAYUM GURL. You need to take some time out for you too <333 It makes me happy to see you pursuing your dreams, but the fervour you're going after them with can get a little scary >.>; Just make sure you're in one piece when you make it to the top bby <333

[moeruze-burning.livejournal.com]

I understand completely, and your boss sucks all of the hobo balls in the world for the shifts she springs on you.

sobs all over you and clings to you and rubs my face against your face

one day our dream of school will be fulfilled ;___; keep holding on and do what you gotta do.

And don't try to change/fix things you just cannot because things happen and if you're sincerely sorry about them, then there's not much else you can do.

GIVES YOU ALL MY LOVE AND ALL THE BLOWJOBS

[remixied.livejournal.com]

lol our bosses? same person 8|

<33 you too bby, I don't want to see you giving up or giving in either

MOANS LIKE A FILTHY WHORE FOR YOUR LOVE

[sgcharbor.livejournal.com]

there can be a 1,001 commitments and priorities but there is only one you, so you need to care for yourself because you can take care of anything else.

I know people will be unhappy with me b/c I've owed them quite a lot for quite a while, but I guess this is just choosing the lesser of the two evils.

i am really so proud of you bb. i wish i could show you the magnitude of it /envelopes you in a bear-hug

come back stronger and healthier okay bb?

if you need to rant or bitch and no one's willing to listen to you, @breenex will always be there (^^)/

[remixied.livejournal.com]

Yeah but then I tend to feel like I should be multitasking. Like my life is never going to be perfect so I should probably suck it up and attempt to stop making excuses and do what I need to. Because nothing will ever get done if I wait for the perfect/best etc moment. idek rofl but thank you bby, I appreciate the love <333

[eun-yoji.livejournal.com]

Well, I wish you good luck with your job and studies.
Sometimes bosses are just like that. :(

[remixied.livejournal.com]

Haha, thanks I'll definitely need it ♥

MY BOSS IS A PSYCHO ;; QUITE HONESTLY.

[eun-yoji.livejournal.com]

make your boss into Super Junior. its relaxing.

[remixied.livejournal.com]

rofl they're way too good for her

[reversedoll.livejournal.com]

bb, don't feel bad about these kinds of things. /hugs, you have to take care of yourself first, and i'm 100% sure we all care about you as a person more than some fics or whatever. ;-;

i hope you feel better soon, bb.

[remixied.livejournal.com]

blah, it still feels sucky. I'm pretty sure my fic gets to more people and makes them happier than my obnoxious personality rofl but all the same, I will take care.

you take care too bby /loves on endlessly <3333

[bittersnow.livejournal.com]

yes what kelley said ^^

and i know on some level how you feel because it's been like that for me too, too tired to do anything. My schedule is not even as punishing as yours, but I'm wiped out when I get home. So you should take any opportunity to not worry because there's so many other things in your life that does. and yes, that last sentence probably made your inner grammar nazi recoil and want to beat me over the head with a spatula XDD.

[remixied.livejournal.com]

HJKFLDHGLJFDS WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN LATELY OMG I FEEL LIKE WE ARE GROWING APART AND THAT IS JUST NOT EVEN CLOSE TO ALLOWED TO HAPPEN. THE UNIVERSE WILL PROTEST, THERE WILL BE A WAR AND HELLFIRE AND WET SOCKS AND BEEF BALLS AND ALL SORTS OF OTHER UNPLEASANT THINGS DDDDDD:

lmao my inner grammar nazi has been dead for a long while :'DDD anyway, I totally get being overwhelmed bby so I don't mean to pressure you to keep in contact when sometimes all you feel like you can do is just sleep for a thousand years. I just worry and I miss you and I think about you very very often. so I hope you're doing well and I would love the chance to steal you away sometime soon <333 we got a new car btw >:DDDD Imma take you for a ride around town (and we can see all the pretty leave changing :'DDDD)